What you need to know about Pre-engagement Counseling

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By RichardLederman

Why do people seek counselling prior to their engagement? Studies show that serious breakups can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder in those who are heartbroken. Not to mention the current divorce rate is not particularly encouraging for couples.

Why couples who’ve never been engaged get together to talk about their feelings? They shouldn’t be in the pain of they love their puppy.

Pre-engagement counseling isn’t necessarily intended for couples that are experiencing issues. It’s for couples who have an exciting future together and wish to make sure they have the tools to build an unbreakable marriage.

A lot of religious couples undergo engagement counseling to prepare themselves for a serious relationship. It is not Arrangement Tips necessary to be religious in order to benefit from couples counseling before marriage or engagement.

Therapy for engagement can assist couples in learning conflict resolution skills, boost communication skills, and also manage expectations.

Pre-engagement counseling is more effective than pre-marital counseling.

Pre-engagement counseling works the same as before marriage counseling: to assist strengthen the relationship.

Pre-engagement counseling is advantageous over pre-marital counseling in that there is no time frame for engagement.

Instead of trying to fix your problems before the wedding date is set, you can have the time and space to discuss your emotions with your spouse.

Engagement therapy helps couples strengthen their bond and slowly work toward a healthy engagement.

Another benefit is the lack of pressure.

A consultation may show that you and your spouse do not get along. There’s no need to break off a public engagement, or disappoint family members by rescheduling the wedding. There are no ‘break the dates’ cards to mail.

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Counseling for pre-engagement: 5 benefits

Pre-engagement counseling can be a great tool to help couples build a strong relationship.

One study published by Health Pre-engagement counseling Research Funding found that 30 percent of couples who received counseling before tying the knot had a higher success rate than couples who did not decide to seek counseling.

1. Look for the small things

One of the main reasons couples visit before marriage counseling is to learn whether they would be the perfect match.

Compatibility makes for a great partnership. Contraries can attract and partners might be more open and patient than partners with opposing views. However, in certain ways that you share the same values and morals can lead you into a marriage with a positive start.

A few of the pre-engagement counseling questions you’ll be asked during your counseling sessions are:

  1. What do commitment and fidelity have to do with you? What do you consider cheating?
  2. Do you plan to have children? Do you want children?
  3. What do you want for the education of your kids?
  4. What are your expectations in relation to sex?
  5. Are you of the same religion? What is the significance of that faith for you?
  6. What can you do to stay committed when your partner lets you down or hurts your feelings?
  7. Where do you intend on staying?
  8. What are your goals for the future?
  9. What is your financial situation? Do you expect your partner to assist financially? Do you think that your partner will aid financially if you’ve got children?
  10. What role do family/in-laws have in your life?
  11. What do you want from an engagement or a wedding in the near future?
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Incompatibilities are frequently neglected by couples who love each other and wish their spouse will be able to look at the positive side of things.

Counseling for couples prior to engagement can help them determine the characteristics and beliefs that could make their marriage stronger and those that might cause them to be incompatible.

2. Set healthy boundaries early

Boundaries are a wonderful aspect of relationships. They inform spouses of what they are at and can help them become more understanding and respectful partners.

In engagement therapy, couples can discuss their physical, sexual emotional, and limits relating to time (“I am hoping to be married/have a baby/live in Alaska at the age of X.”)

Couple counseling is an excellent method to talk about your limits prior to your wedding. This topic is best addressed by your counselor without being too imposing or uncomfortable.

3. Develop and nurture relationships

The importance of emotional intimacy is just as significant as physical intimacy when it comes to a new relationship. Research has proven that couples who are spending longer together are more likely to appreciate emotional intimacy more than sexual fireworks.

The development of emotional intimacy has been proven to ease stress and improve the well-being of partners.

You’ll have the ability to create and maintain emotional intimacy during the first stage of dating and you’ll be set for a successful and stable marriage.

4. Make sure that you have realistic expectations about marriage.

It’s all about partnership. Two people sharing their lives by vowing to support and love one another is marriage. Although it sounds very romantic, this is not an easy undertaking.

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Before marriage counseling can help couples establish an accurate expectation of what an ideal wedding should be like.

Examples of unrealistic expectations are:

  • Sexy passion for the rest of your life
  • Trust that your spouse will not change
  • Thinking all your time should be spent with your loved ones
  • Never compromise
  • Imagine that your partner will make you whole.

Realistic expectations help dispel the myths surrounding marriage and help couples realize that it shouldn’t be difficult, but it shouldn’t always be easy, either.

Couples will have a happier relationship if they can create realistic expectations about household chores as well as social activities outside of marriage.

5. Learn how to communicate

Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship that is successful.

During the engagement process, couples be taught to communicate effectively. This involves learning to be able to argue fair and compromise as well as listen.

If communication skills aren’t strong, couples may become emotionally distant or fall back to methods that harm their marriage (such as freezing a partner out, or reacting emotionally or making hurtful comments in the course of a dispute.)